Feeling a little uninspired today...

It was such a blah-cky day today. Oliver has been grating on my nerves all day by crying and yipping at the window. Normally a silent dog (he makes up for that by non-stop licking), this was not a noise I was accustomed to hearing all day long. At lunch, Sam wreaked havoc (which is out of the ordinary for him--he's really gotten so good at mealtime, even when we eat out). And all day, Sam was Mr. Cranky and (yikes) a little mean and aggressive.

Sam's getting so frustrated with things lately--especially when things are not going the way he wants. It's becoming clear to me that now is the time to be gently firm and consistent in parenting him. I took out one of his dresser drawers today to fix it and Sam had a great time "helping" me. He thought he was pretty cool getting to help hold up the piece of wood and help me hammer. When we finished, I started to put the drawer back in and it was not going in easily. I was struggling with it. And Sam was mad that the drawer was going back in--apparently he wanted to do a little more work on it. So he started screaming and pulling it out as I was trying to get it to line up right and slide it in. We were both making some angry noises. Of course, being at least two times stronger than little Sambino, I "won" and the drawer went back in. (I ended up moving him away from the scene, which I should have done sooner.) I tried to get Sam engaged in helping me put his clothes back in, but he was seriously mad by this point. Screaming, throwing his head back. Then--I didn't see this coming--he grabs the back of my head by my hair and shakes my head. WHAT?! If I hadn't had been so caught off guard and laughing about it, I think I might have lost my cool.

This is not the first time I've seen Sam's rage over the past few weeks. Earlier this week he grabbed my throat and my ponytail similtainiously and shook me--with a scary mean look on his face--because I would not give him the phone. And a couple weeks ago he grabbed my hand and bit me because I was making him lay down to get his diaper changed.

The peculiar thing is, though I think Sam knows what the word "No" means, he doesn't seem to know that he's doing something wrong until I tell him. Like at lunch today, when he was going crazy and dumping my lemonade on the floor, I said "NO!" in my firmest voice possible, and although he stopped, he just sweetly smiled back up at me. When he dumped the greasy-yet-delicious waffle fries on the floor, there was nothing in his face that conveyed mischief. Scolding him for one action had no affect on his future actions. When I say "No" at home, he stops what he's doing and looks up at me. But he obviously doesn't have a conscious just yet. I think more than anything, he's just frustrated--wanting to be more independent, wanting to communicate better. Wanting his way ALL DAY...

So in the mean time, I guess I'll just keep saying "No" and redirecting him. But how long is this going to last? When can I put the little rascal in TIME OUT and it'll mean something? And when will that Mother's Guilt start being useful:"I spent 6 hours in labor...staying up with you the first three months when you had bad acid reflux...wiped doody off your booty....and this is how you treat me?"

I'm just hoping he doesn't (or I don't) pull out all my hair by then.